home again

Home again, home again jiggedy jig. QG and I got home yesterday afternoon after a delightful red-eye flight, including several hours of frivolity in the LA airport. Actually the flights weren't too bad. The good news was that we were in the emergency evacuation row, so we had more leg room. The bad news was that the evacuation seats do not recline one iota. I had to stay alert so I could prop up QG's head. Every time he fell asleep, it would dangle forward at about a 90 degree angle threatening to cut off his air supply. I managed to get him home with no brain damage. I hope he appreciates all these little extras I do for him. 

On reflection, I feel that our trip was life changing. Granted, I'm probably more susceptible to life changing events than the average person because of my curiosity problem and because I'm so aware of how much I don't know and am always trying to close the gap, but I digress. Here are my top five Hawaiian epiphanies.

1. Nature big, Man small. Perhaps to some people this has always been obvious, but I have finally learned to fully embrace the Big Mysterious, to be happy that I can't figure everything out. The vibrant colors of flower, ocean and forest against the backdrop forces of tide, rain, growth and volcanoes in that place shouted wonder beyond reason.

2. Surrender is exciting. The essence of life, including my purpose and how each bit gets threaded together is God's department, as ungraspable to me as lava, so all I have to do is have faith. Faith is a magical thing. Faith can be easy-ish if you are brave.

3. Float, don't think. When you're bobbing along on top of the blue water looking down at all the pretty fish, don't think about the experience: experience the experience. 

4. Be quiet and still. If you want to see the tiny red bird and the gigantic bee, you have to be quiet and still in the forest. Ditto for life. QG is something of a prodigy when it comes to the first part of this.

5. What you gather, you carry. I thought the trip would be a step out of then back into my normal life, but it was not. The trip was a stage along my journey. By stepping away, meeting the people we met, having each new adventure and interaction, I realized some things that will alter my regular routine. I will worry less about what I'm accomplishing, because that kind of thought script is so self-defeating. I know where God is leading me, so I will take one step today, and the next tomorrow. That is all. Aloha.